To get over an ex-girlfriend, follow a practical plan: limit contact, grieve, rebuild routines, and invest in health, friendships, and goals.
Breakups sting. Sleepless nights, looping thoughts, and sudden waves of emotion can make even simple tasks feel heavy. You’re not broken; you’re going through a normal adjustment. This guide lays out a clear plan to help you move through the hurt and regain steady ground. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, process feelings without getting stuck, and build a daily rhythm that brings your life back into focus.
Breakup Recovery Plan At A Glance
The table below gives you a quick overview. Use it as your north star while you work through the rest of the guide.
| Step | What To Do | How It Helps |
|---|---|---|
| Set Boundaries | Mute chats, pause social follows, and remove triggers | Reduces spikes of emotion and rumination |
| Grieve Cleanly | Allow tears, name feelings, write for 10–15 minutes | Lets feelings pass instead of bottling them |
| Stabilize Sleep | Fixed bed/wake times, dim lights, no phone in bed | Improves mood control and energy |
| Move Daily | Walks, light strength work, or a class | Blunts stress and lifts baseline mood |
| Eat On A Schedule | Three balanced meals, two simple snacks | Prevents crashes that worsen irritability |
| Reconnect | Plan time with trusted people and hobbies | Reminds you who you are beyond the breakup |
| Set Micro-Goals | Daily 20–30 minute tasks toward one aim | Restores momentum and self-belief |
| Review & Adjust | Weekly check-in: what worked, what didn’t | Keeps the plan grounded in real life |
How To Get Over An Ex-Girlfriend: What Works Day To Day
You don’t need grand moves. You need a repeatable day that stops the spiral. This section gives you a template you can start tonight.
Set Contact Rules That Protect You
Silence isn’t petty; it’s first aid. Mute chats, archive message threads, and unfollow for now. Clear shared photo widgets or albums so you’re not ambushed during a dull moment. If logistics require messages (bills, leases, pets), keep them short and factual. Batch them at a fixed time so your brain doesn’t stay on alert all day. These simple moves cut the number of emotional jolts, which helps your nervous system settle.
Make Room For Grief Without Letting It Run The Show
Loss hurts, even when the split was the right call. A short, structured writing practice helps. Set a timer for 10–15 minutes and write about what you miss, what you don’t, and what you learned. Many clinicians recommend expressive writing after relationship loss because it helps organize thoughts and feelings in a safe way, rather than stuffing them down. You can read more on breakup coping from the American Psychological Association.
Anchor Your Sleep And Mornings
Fatigue magnifies shaky moods. Pick consistent sleep and wake times, dim screens 60 minutes before bed, and keep the phone out of arm’s reach. A simple morning routine—water, light stretch, and a five-minute plan for the day—keeps your mind from drifting back to old texts before you’re even dressed.
Move Your Body Every Single Day
Activity is one of the most reliable mood lifters available to you. A brisk 20–30 minute walk, a beginner strength session, or a class with music can steady your mind and cut the edge off stress. Public health guides present regular movement as a core pillar for feeling better; see the NHS overview on the five steps to mental wellbeing for simple ideas.
Eat On A Rhythm, Not Emotion
After a breakup, appetite swings are common. Create a basic meal rhythm—breakfast within an hour of waking, lunch on time, dinner at a reasonable hour, and two straightforward snacks. Aim for protein, fiber, and color on each plate. This isn’t a diet; it’s fuel for a steadier day. Keep easy wins on hand: eggs, yogurt, oats, frozen vegetables, pre-washed greens, canned fish, fruit, nuts.
Rebuild Social Connection Without Overdoing It
Loneliness feeds loops of worry. Plan small, low-pressure hangouts with trusted people: coffee and a walk, cooking at home, a movie night. Let one or two folks know you might be quiet or teary and that you’re okay with that. Short, regular contact beats rare, intense bursts that leave you drained.
Clean Up Your Digital Space
Audit your phone. Turn off “Memories” pop-ups. Hide old chat previews. Move shared playlists into a folder you won’t open for a while. Curate your feeds: mute accounts that keep you stuck; add accounts that teach, make you laugh, or nudge you toward healthy routines.
Getting Over An Ex-Girlfriend: Step-By-Step Plan You Can Follow
This section turns the big ideas into small moves. Work through them in order and repeat as needed.
Step 1: Decide Your Boundary Level
Pick a clear lane: no contact, low contact, or logistics-only. Write it down. If you wobble, reset the clock without shame. A short relapse doesn’t erase progress; it’s feedback about when you’re most vulnerable.
Step 2: Schedule A Grief Window
Give feelings a home. Set a daily window—maybe evenings—for writing, crying, or calling a trusted person. Outside that window, when your mind drifts back, say “not now” and park the thought in a note for later. This keeps pain contained so the rest of your day can keep moving.
Step 3: Build A 30-Day Reset
Pick one physical habit, one social habit, and one personal aim. Keep each tiny: a 25-minute walk, two check-ins with friends per week, and a short course, book chapter, or skill session. Stack them onto existing routines so they stick.
Step 4: Replace, Don’t Just Remove
If Friday nights were for dinner together, claim that slot for something new: climbing gym, trivia, a class, a standing call. Your brain expects a reward at that time; give it a new one.
Step 5: Tidy The Triggers
Bag gifts and reminders and place them in a closet for 90 days. You’re not torching your past; you’re clearing space to heal.
Step 6: Talk It Out When Needed
Pick one or two people who can listen without steering you. Ask for exactly what helps—“I need to vent for five minutes,” or “Can we walk while I talk this through?” If your mood tanks or daily life stalls for weeks, reach out to a qualified clinician in your area or through a reputable service.
Step 7: Rewrite The Story
When you’re steadier, write the story of the relationship using three headings: “What I gave,” “What I needed,” and “What I’ll do next time.” Keep blame low and clarity high. This turns a raw event into a lesson you can carry.
30-Day Reset Calendar
Use this simple calendar as a template. Adjust to your schedule and energy.
| Day Range | Focus | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Days 1–3 | Contact rules, sleep, meals | Mute, set bedtime, stock simple food |
| Days 4–7 | Daily walks & writing | 10–15 minute journal after dinner |
| Days 8–10 | Social reentry | Two low-key plans with trusted people |
| Days 11–14 | Skill or class | Book one session or sign up online |
| Days 15–18 | Home reset | Tidy room, change sheets, fresh playlist |
| Days 19–22 | Stretch goal | Longer hike, PR on a lift, or 5k run |
| Days 23–26 | Expand circle | Invite a colleague or join a local group |
| Days 27–30 | Review & plan | What sticks next month; what to adjust |
Common Pitfalls That Keep You Stuck
Endless Scrolling And Sleuthing
Checking their feeds, friends’ feeds, and tagged photos keeps you in a loop. Curiosity is human; access makes it worse. Mute and move the apps off your home screen for two weeks. If you cave, add friction: log out after each session so the barrier is higher next time.
Substituting Numbing For Healing
Heavy drinking or using food to blunt feelings brings short relief and long crashes. Healthy routines—movement, sleep, and steady meals—do the opposite: they carry you through the day with fewer spikes. Health systems also flag these simple basics as protective habits during loss.
Jumping Into A New Relationship To Dodge Pain
Some people feel better with new connection soon after a breakup; others feel worse. There’s no universal rule. If you choose to date, keep your expectations low early on and be honest that you’re still finding your feet.
Signals You’re Healing
Progress can be quiet. Look for these shifts over a few weeks:
- You can go a day without checking their feeds.
- Sleep and appetite feel more normal.
- Memories sting less and pass faster.
- You catch yourself laughing without guilt.
- Your plans are about what you want, not what they’d think.
When To Get Extra Help
If you’re stuck in low mood, panic, insomnia, or hopeless thinking for weeks, it’s time to bring in a pro. Look for licensed clinicians through your local health system or trusted directories. If you live in England, you can check out NHS Talking Therapies to see options near you. In urgent situations, contact local emergency services or crisis lines in your region.
How To Get Over An Ex-Girlfriend With A Method That Fits You
There isn’t one timeline. Some feel lighter in a month; some need longer. The point isn’t to erase the past; it’s to grow a life that feels alive again. Keep your plan simple and repeatable. And say the phrase out loud when needed—“I’m doing what helps.” It sounds small, yet it can steady your next move.
Quick Tools You Can Use Tonight
The 5-Minute Urge Surf
When you’re close to texting, set a five-minute timer. Stand up. Breathe slow and low through your nose. Walk to the sink, run cold water over your wrists, then do ten slow squats. By the time the timer ends, the wave has usually passed.
The Thought Swap
Write the looping thought in one sentence. Now write a balanced version that includes a next step. Example: “No one will love me again” becomes “Breakups hurt; I’m building a life where I feel steady and open.” Tape it where you’ll see it.
The Night Kit
Put a paperback by the bed, a small lamp, and a glass of water. When the mind revs, you have a default that doesn’t involve doomscrolling.
Your One-Page Plan
Copy this into a notes app and fill it in:
- Contact rules: no contact / low contact / logistics-only
- Grief window: daily time + activity
- Sleep: bed ____ / wake ____
- Movement: daily action
- Meals: simple plan for breakfast, lunch, dinner
- People: two names for check-ins
- 30-day aim: skill or milestone
- Weekly review: what worked / what changes
Why This Works
Breakups spike stress hormones and narrow attention. Gentle structure widens your day again. Expressive writing organizes thoughts. Movement shifts mood. Sleep steadies impulse control. Boundaries lower sudden jolts. Over time, the story of the relationship turns from a raw wound into a chapter you can see with clearer eyes. That’s how to get over an ex-girlfriend in practice: small steps, repeated often, with kindness for yourself on the harder days.